Midlife Neurodivergent Travel Can be Stressful. I’m Choosing It Anyway.

My beautiful brain is at war with itself.

I'm AuDHD, which means I have both ADHD and autism. I'm late-diagnosed, and hooboy, AuDHD is an interesting neurodivergent combo.

The ADHD part of my brain that OMG NEEDS NOVELTY RIGHT NOW is constantly battling the autistic part that Just. Wants. To. Stay. Home.

ADHD-me is spinning, spinning, spinning, constantly seeking fun and friends and new stuff and hey wait, SQUIRREL…

…while autistic-me would happily sit on my worn-out sofa for a few years at a time, with all my familiar things around me, eating comfort foods, doing all my shopping online, and generally avoiding the need to "people."

Push-pull, push-pull. I walked a random path all my life and didn't know why.

And then, finally, I had the diagnoses and answers. Everything made sense at last… and yet my random path didn't change much.

Until time tapped my shoulder and cleared its throat.

Because in midlife, on top of everything else that's going on, our mortality hits us.

We may see our parents or friends needing more help. Maybe their mobility has decreased, or their ability to do the daily tasks they used to find easy. Some of the people we’ve known and cared about are already gone.

We realize in our hearts that someday we’ll be gone, too. Maybe sooner than later.

It's possible that those few years that autistic-me would like to spend on the couch are… all I have left.

That's a frightening thought, because I AM NOT DONE — not with traveling, not with life, not with going after what I want.

I was lucky to begin traveling as a three-year-old. Later, I was lucky to see (and live in) some wonderful, dream-trip places because of my prior academic career. But when I left that career, my travels slowed and sputtered due to other priorities and a general lack of funds.

I still don't have much in the way of funds (and yikes, don't get me started on how that feels as a Gen Xer approaching retirement age).

But I do have goals. Travel goals. Things I want to do and see before it's too late.

And I'm making concrete plans to reach my goals, take my dream trips, and visit the places my heart yearns for.

I want to snorkel with humpback whales in Moorea. Ride an Arabian horse in Wadi Rum. Watch hot-air balloons rising over Cappadocia. Swim in the waters of Aphrodite's birthplace in Cyprus. Visit Middle-earth.

Doing these things won't be easy (especially given that scarcity of funds). And the actual trips will likely be tiring, even overwhelming, for autistic-me (who gets even less tolerant of change as I age).

But because I know I'm AuDHD, I have more compassion and understanding about my needs. And with that knowledge, I can better manage my travels.

My ADHD side loves to dream, learn, and explore, while my autistic side loves to plan, execute that plan, and then relax. So, I'll line up the essentials — where to go, how to get there, where to stay — and leave room to unwind, settle in, and recharge for what’s next.

I'll let ADHD-me loose to experience this planet in all its awe-inducing glory… and then come home to the familiar, where my ASD side will nestle in, be a homebody and sort through all those memories from the familiarity of my safe couch.

Even though traveling as a midlife neurodivergent woman has its challenges, I'm doing it anyway.

You can, too.

If you're like me, whatever your flavor of neurospice, and even though it might feel scary or overwhelming, you're thinking about visiting the places that make your brain sparkle…

DO IT.

You don't have to have everything figured out right now. You can figure it out on the way toward those big travel dreams.

You don't have to be fearless, either. That's what courage is for, after all — courage would be meaningless without any fear!

You just have to be willing.

So buckle up, Buttercup — buckle that airplane seat belt, because we're taking off.

Wheels up, (Trip)Witches.

P.S. Want tips and community while you plan your next trip?

Snag your Hexplorations boarding pass.