Midlife Neurodivergent Travel Can be Stressful. I’m Choosing It Anyway.

My beautiful brain is at war with itself.

I'm AuDHD, which means I have both ADHD and autism. I'm late-diagnosed, and hooboy, AuDHD is an interesting neurodivergent stew.

The ADHD part of my brain that OMG NEEDS NOVELTY RIGHT NOW is constantly battling the autistic part that Just. Wants. To. Stay. Home.

ADHD-me is spinning, spinning, spinning, constantly seeking fun and friends and new stuff and hey wait, SQUIRREL…

…while autistic-me would happily sit on my worn-out sofa for a few years at a time, with all my familiar things around me, eating comfort foods, doing all my shopping online, and generally avoiding the need to "people."

Push-pull, push-pull. I walked a random path all my life and didn't know why.

Starting in 2024, at age 54, I had answers, thanks to my new ND diagnoses. Looking back, it all makes so much sense.

I grieved my struggles and the successes I'd missed out on due to the mismatch between my brain's wiring and neurotypical society. I also marveled at how much I'd managed to do anyway and began to give myself more grace for what I'd thought were personal flaws. I began to find a community that just… got me.

But I also felt a growing unease because mortality had tapped my shoulder and cleared its throat.

I'd lost a lot of time and opportunities in the past because I hadn't known I was neurodivergent. If I turned around and looked toward my future… What was coming? What did I want the rest of my life to be?

By midlife, we're likely finding our parents, our friends, or ourselves developing health issues… arthritis, metabolism slowdowns, heart problems, mobility issues, and of course menopause and its delightful (ugh) cascade of issues.

Not to mention that some of the people we’ve known and cared about in our lives are already gone.

We realize, not just intellectually but deep in our hearts, that someday we’ll be gone, too. Maybe sooner than later.

What if those few years that autistic-me would like to spend on the couch are… all I have left?

Unh-unh. Hell no. I AM NOT DONE — not with life, not with going after what I want, and not with exploring this vast, gorgeous world.

I was lucky to begin traveling as a three-year-old. Later, I was lucky to see (and live in) some wonderful, dream-trip places because of my prior academic career. But when I left that career, my travels slowed and sputtered due to other priorities and a general lack of funds.

I still don't have much in the way of funds (and yikes, don't get me started on how that feels as a Gen Xer approaching retirement age).

But I do have goals. Travel goals. Things I want to do and see before it's too late.

And I'm making concrete plans to reach my goals, take my dream trips, and visit the places my heart yearns for.

I want to snorkel with humpback whales in Moorea. Ride an Arabian horse in Wadi Rum. Watch hot-air balloons rising over Cappadocia. Swim in the waters of Aphrodite's birthplace in Cyprus. Visit Middle-earth.

Doing these things won't be easy (especially given that scarcity of funds). And the actual trips will likely be tiring, even overwhelming, for autistic-me (who gets even less tolerant of change as I age).

But because I know I'm AuDHD, I have more compassion and understanding about my needs. And with that knowledge, I can better manage my travels.

My ADHD side loves to dream, learn, and explore, while my autistic side loves to plan, execute that plan, and then relax. So, I'll line up the essentials — where to go, how to get there, where to stay — and leave room to unwind, settle in, and recharge for what’s next.

I'll let ADHD-me loose to experience this planet in all its awe-inducing glory… and then come home to the familiar, where my ASD side will nestle in, be a homebody and sort through all those memories from the familiarity of my safe couch.

Even though traveling as a midlife neurodivergent woman has its challenges, I'm doing it anyway.

You can, too.

Whatever your flavor of neurospice, it can feel scary or overwhelming to set big goals. What you've lived through may make you think you can't achieve them. But if, like me, you're still yearning to visit the places that make your brain sparkle…

DO IT.

You don't have to have everything figured out right now. You can figure it out on the way toward those big travel (& life) dreams.

You don't have to be fearless, either. That's what courage is for, after all! Courage would be meaningless without fear.

Just be open to the idea that you'll find a way to make it happen.

So buckle up, Buttercup — buckle that airplane seat belt, because we're taking off.

Wheels up, (Trip)Witches.

P.S. Want tips and community while you chart your travel dreams? Snag your Hexplorations boarding pass.